pockets of resistance in the pants of peace.

About a year ago, I think I remember commenting about our upcoming nuptuals, "I've never anticipated anything so much in my life! I've never wished more that the days would fly by up until our big day..."
Well, with no disrespect to my other half, the time in between the stated sentiment and the actual event was filled with excitement and planning and eager anticipation... whereas now, I can most definitely conclude that I've never wished more that these next 5 weeks would fly by...and there isn't quite the same joy-filled waiting period. I feel like I'm on the edge of my seat, just moments away from this crazy escape from my life as an indentured student. The taste of 'big-kid' world is just at the tip of my tongue. I have so many plans, so many things I plan to do...some so miniscule ...just to be able to relax in the evenings, to sit on our patio and enjoy a drink and read a book. hey, remember hobbies? ...remember relationships? actually having time to call and talk with my family & friends for more than just my commute home from the medical center.

It's been a rough 2 years. It's not all 'schools' fault. In fact, it would have been quite manageable without the handful of personal challenges. but life doesn't sit back and wait just because you're in grad school. ...from moving away from the comfort of my college town and starting up in a new city (albeit with my best friend...but little else) to the separation of my parents after 25 years of marriage. And countless other delicate issues spiraling off just that...and for the respect of those involved, I'll probably have to skip the intimate details of the family matters for now.

It hasn't been an ideal first 10 months of marriage for Aaron and I, but our paths didn't fall as neatly as some others may have...and 'higher education' became a big priority for reaching our more long-term goals. I think we've grown so much closer, so much stronger. I just beam with pride when I see how hard he's working, and I just smile at the purpose he still makes for 'quality time' and showing me every day how much I am loved. I believe we have really mastered the "leaving and cleaving" of marriage... Some suggest that the first year of marriage really shapes the 'pattern' for how you deal, communicate, and grow as challenges arise for the rest of your life. I think we've had more than enough practice jumping in together on 'team chaloner' and facing whatever it is... sounds rather ambiguous, but I just look back fondly that we've been given this perspective - and can truly appreciate all the amazing blessings God has brought us through this time and through our family and friends.

I didn't really sit down planning to write anything like this... I hope this doesn't sound 'sad'. That's not my feelings right now at all, It's insightfully reflective and oh-so-anxious for the upcoming graduation. I think it's been an unbelievably busy, stressful week. and my classmate, Melissa, and I decided this is just how it's going to be from here on out. I carried a pager on my hip, and I was 'on-call' for our clinic this week. Weeks of such unpredictability throw this type-a-control-freak very out of sorts. I know you may wonder - what is a 'genetic counseling emergency' ? Well, we are often called on consults to the NICU for newborns with congenital anomalies, possible syndromes, failure to thrive, dysmorphic features...gosh, really anything. I mean, hey, we're genetics. & sometimes our team works diagnostic magic, and sometime we don't always have an answer.
I feel like I always have intersting stories to share from my time with patients... but I think HIPAA would get me if I really divulged any information. [...you know, it's that page you sign, but probably don't read everytime you go to the doctor's office.] Needless to say, we work with some amazing families and of course some odd characters. But, just from my short stint as a student - I can say that this is going to be an ever-changing, interesting, challenging, and rewarding career. As for now, I'll have to be on consults one more time. I have to finish my thesis and complete all of my edits/suggestions given my my committee members. I have to complete my advanced rotation requirements seeing cancer patients and counseling in specialty clinics. I have to present an article in Journal Club, one last time [our weekly meeting with everyone in the genetics section - doctors, genetic counselors, researchers, lab techs]. I have to complete my comprehensive 8-hour final exam and my clinical rotation final. I have to give my oral thesis defense. ...and without further adieu, I must graduate with my masters in genetic counseling.
I think if I had to give a speech at this graduation ceremony, it would be entirely much more cynical and honest than my cheery high-school salutatorian speech - don't you think?